Childhood Adventures in Mishlo’ah Manot (and the laws of shelihut)

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Childhood Adventures in Mishlo'ah Manot

(For "Mishlo'ah Manot and the Laws of Shelihut, scroll down.)

At this stage in my life, mishlo’ah manot (Purim packages) are a chore, even a burden (click here). But it was not always such.

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Purim was a favorite childhood holiday because I would go around delivering mishlo’ah manot for my family. This was a very lucrative opportunity, as people customarily dispensed Purim gelt (a tip) to children who delivered mishlo’ah manot. Most gave me fifty cents or a buck. A couple of stinkers would give me a quarter; not that I really begrudged this, but the worst offenders were the ones who made a big deal about it: “Ooh, what do I have for you,” they would say as they dramatically pulled their wallet from a pocket and pretended to search for that valuable quarter they kept hidden for special purposes.

Anyway, two dollars was considered very nice. But there were also a few really generous tippers, such as Murray B. and Isaac K. I always looked forward to bringing them their packages since they were always good for a five-dollar bill (a lot of money back then). As I got older I became more uncomfortable delivering mishlo’ah manot to Isaac, who continued to tip me well past the age when this is normally done. He would press a bill into my hand despite my protestations, which instantly ceased once he gave me the look that translated as “I can crush your hand like a soda can if you don’t take the money.” And he really could, so I did.

My job was not over once I delivered all the packages for my family. My services were still required by my grandparents in Bensonhurst. This was especially fun because I got to sit up front with my grandfather (click here) in his new shiny maroon Caprice Classic. (Even when no longer brand new, it was still new compared to our 1960s era Ford LTD). It was a great car with a smooth ride and loaded with all sorts of “luxuries.” While I hated the fact that I was too short to see over the high dashboard, I loved to play with the power locks and windows and listen to the motors in the doors churning. (He of course hollered at me to stop lest I break them.) In later years I appreciated the FM (!) radio. (He of course hollered at me to lower it: "What the heck is this music you listen to?!")

My grandfather’s friends were even cheaper than some of the old men from my own shul, but among his pals too there were some good tippers, especially Marvin D. Not only did he give me a five- or ten-dollar bill, but I also received a bag of chocolate balls from his (brother’s?) factory. That alone made the trip to Bensonhurst worth it.

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My grandmother today is at the age where unfortunately she pretty much no longer has any friends left, especially in her own neighborhood. But maybe next year I will bring Jr so he can deliver mishlo’ah manot for her to the few who remain.

I just hope they are aware of the concept of inflation.

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Mishlo’ah Manot and the Laws of Shelihut:

The precedent for sending mishlo’ah manot via a shali’ah (messenger) is well established and the practice is discussed inter alia in the legal literature (e.g., does one fulfill his obligation if the messenger is unable to deliver his charge).

Apparently there is an opinion that distributing mishlo’ah manot via a shali’ah is more than just an option; it may very well be the preferred (le-khathilah) mode of fullfilling the commandment. See R. Jacob Ettlinger, Shut Binyan Tziyyon, #44; R. Amram Bloom, Shut Bet She’arim (OH), #381; R. Menashe Klein, Shut Mishneh Halakhot, 6:#121, 7:#92, 11:#559. This may be a reason we do not recite a blessing before distributing mishlo’ah manot.

Using a shali’ah to deliver mishlo’ah manot is not just a matter of Jewish law, but also of utility. It is much more convenient to send someone else to deliver it than to search for parking on congested city streets or risk getting a double parking ticket. I wonder when the practice began speficially to use a child as a shali'ah. Perhaps it is a matter of hinukh, or letting him experience first hand the commandment of mishlo'ah manot. On the question of whether or not one actually fulfills his own obligation if he uses a child as a shali'ah, see Mishneh Halakhot.