Sukkot in Teaneck

Rating Advisory: B

(Note: Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects. Please don't use their real names if you happen to know them.)

Some people go away for the hagim to Florida, the Caribbean, Israel or even more exotic destinations. We go to Teaneck, NJ. I have quite a few friends there, so we actually go there relatively frequently for Shabbatot as well.

This past Sukkot we went to Oren for the first days and then to Robi for the last days. We asked them to keep Jr for hol hamo’ed—they each have three kids, so what’s one more for a few days—, but they demurred. Anyway, I have to say that all my friends are special, but going to Robi is always a special adventure. You just never know what to expect. Literally.

Robi is one of those guys who has done almost everything and can do everything else as well. He once even evaded the clutches of the pursuing Red Army as he absconded across the Hungarian-Austrian border one dark, rainy night. Put simply, he’s the companion you want when deserted on that desert island.

A special treat of going for Sukkot to Robi and his lovely wife Shirah--just make sure she does not kill your kid by accident--is that they always take extra care to make an original sukkah. You’ve seen those families that have themes for Purim? Robi and Shira have one for Sukkot. (You'll know who to blame when this trend takes off and you find yourself trying to keep up with the Cohens, like with themes on Purim.) This year the theme was Sukkot in space.
The interior was decorated appropriately with a mock solar system, Superman among the cosmos and a cow flying over the moon. (No comments please about errors in the solar system’s scale and arrangement.)
The hag itself was wonderful with all the great food such a festivity demands. Jr had a great time with the little Robis and Shiras in the house. He especially loved the house that Robi built under the basement steps. (Rumor has it that this is where he sleeps when he gets on Shira’s bad side.)
One night during dinner the kids were in the basement and apparently playing dress-up. They emerged at one point wearing extra layers of clothing and they proceeded to entertain us. Robi, however, was rather upset at his kids. He started yelling at his eldest daughter and put her in the portico because they were not supposed to be messing around with the clothing. But it was just so cute and after a minute even he started laughing and he told her she could come out from the portico.

The real fun at their house happens in the backyard. Robi and Shira in general are not fond of “canned entertainment” and they like to do things their own way. This is reflected in the backyard, which is is equipped with a tree-house, fifty-yard zip line (with car-seat attachment for the little ones), tractor rides (at your own risk--Jr and I almost lost our lives once), fire engine and even rock climbing and rappelling.
(Robi promised that I would still be able to have more children even though he made that safety harness a bit too tight.)

In the event one gets bored in the backyard, there is also always a jeep available for offroading adventures. Robi used to rebuild Jeep CJ7s, but he recently treated himself to this baby.
Yes, those doors and windows come off for the real fun. (You’d think that someone whose wife fell out of a jeep as he took a corner too quickly might think twice before getting a jeep with detachable doors.) And when you want to get some pizza but don't want to wait for the lights to change, just take his firetruck for a spin and let the sirens blare.
For more on Robi, click here.